Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
