dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
