Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
