I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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