Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
last night I used snow as a chaser
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
