and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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