If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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