Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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