Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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