i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
