so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
