No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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