I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
