i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.