I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
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We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me