quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.