He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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