dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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