So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
