what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
