going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
