My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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