OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
