So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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