Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
