you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
