Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize