it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
