Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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