Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
