I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
