My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
