last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
