Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize