I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
