I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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