Sponge bath it is.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
