smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
