i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
