Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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