ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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