You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
