she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
