Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
