You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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