do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
kristin has been a bad kristin
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
