I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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