Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
