I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
