dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize