YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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