how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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