I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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