Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
