Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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