she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Holy sore nipples Batman
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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