Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
