I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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