big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Two words: blizzard sex
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
