Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
