This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
