sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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