No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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