This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
