fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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