please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize