New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
