If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I party with great urgency now.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
