I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
