I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
